I write a diary fairly regularly. It’s usually full of mundane stuff about my day-to-day life, used to make sure I keep writing and don’t go for months at a time without writing anything that’s not for school (which I’m guilty of). Then the other day I was watching a bunch of YouTube videos featuring Jeremy Jordan and I stumbled across this gem of a quote:

When you feel lost or stuck, don’t be afraid to look back on dreams from your childhood.

 

I loved it and I had to write about it, and the writing ended up being a lot more personal then it usually is, and I felt I had to share it.

I’ve been thinking more and more about how I just want to write. I want the words to pour out of me, more and more of them. And how I’m such a realist but somehow I have this dream I’m hanging onto, hard. It makes me wonder why I’m so hungry for it, and I think it’s because I’m such a realist, which, let’s face it, is a pretty sad way to live. And writing lets me dream, which is what I want to hold onto. When I write, I can inspire people, be a leader. I can sing and dance and act and be best friends with the people I admire, if I want. I can be beautiful and aware of it. I can be everything I dreamed I’d be when I was little and more, when I write. I know it sounds ridiculous, for something I do already to be the dream I’m grasping at, but it is. Because it’s not the writing that I’m grasping at. It’s what the writing allows me to be that I’m grasping at. Or, holding onto rather than grasping at, because I’ll be damned if I ever let that feeling go.

I mean, there are lots of quotes that explain exactly how I feel about writing, a notable one being from the musical Newsies:

Give life’s little guys some ink and when it dries just watch what happens.

But this quote is important. It took more digging than the Newsies quote. It took looking back at my childhood dreams to realize why writing was so damn important to me. Obviously there are a thousand other reasons I love to write; it gives me a voice bigger than my own and a place to let my thoughts run wild. But most importantly, writing is crucial for me, because it’s what allows me to dream. Writing is where I live the childhood dreams I dreamed.

And as Jeremy Jordan said – it’s never a bad idea to listen to your childhood self.

(This post was written before changes to my blog, when all posts where categorized by “sparks”. Any and all references to Katy/Everyday/Travelling/Life Sparks or Sparkszine are as a result of this)

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